1. If you think having a c-section will leave you with your dignity intact because you aren't about to push baby out of your lady parts you would be VERY wrong. I laid on that operating table completely butt naked and unable to move from my spinal tap..staring at myself in the overhead mirror thinking "holy cow I am so embarrassed right now…Just a naked whale on this operating table spread eagle for all to see. And dignity gone…over and out.
2. If you see yourself in that mirror butt naked you will wonder if you are about to watch yourself get sliced open. No worries. They cover up that mirror. But then they don't tell you to not look up at the overhead light which is massive and you can see your reflection in. YOU WILL SEE YOURSELF GETTING OPERATED ON IF YOU LOOK ANYWHERE BUT YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS EYEBALLS! Got it? Do not look around! Just don't do it. You will thank me.
3. You are going to feel hella great post surgery and think "oh yah I got this, surgery is child's play" this is the drugs talking. The first time they make you try to get out of bed once the drugs have worn off you are going to want to yell at everyone. It freaking hurts! And then they are going to give you a goal of walking laps 5 times in one day… and you'll do two laps and call it good. You nurses be crazy!
4. You might miss things that you'll feel kind of sad about. Hey you JUST had your stomach cut open to deliver your baby. You can't get up and about every time the nurses need to take baby for tests or his first bath. Hudson had to have his first bath out of our room because his temperature wasn't high enough so he needs to do it under a heat lamp. I couldn't go and I was so super bummed. You can however send your significant other ANYWHERE your baby goes. Anywhere baby went my husband went and so I didn't feel as nervous. Hello mama bear instincts that kick in right away.
5. Getting your staples out doesn't even hurt the littlest bit. I was TERRIFIED to get those things out. Hello? You just stapled my body back together and now you are going to take them out? Sounds like the worst thing in the world. I didn't even feel it at all.
6. If you think you had an inward battle with yourself every time you dropped something while 9+ months pregnant surprise! That inward battle just got worse. Just know ahead of time if you drop something it is there to stay. Picking it up? Totally not an option. Bending over? NOT AN OPTION! SO if your significant other is having a well deserved nap and you are about to eat some candy that you have so been looking forward to eating and you drop it on the floor…just know that you will also have an inward battle of whether to wake them up or to stare at that candy until they wake on their own. The choice is yours. Choose wisely.
7. On that note you might also think you are done asking your husband for help with weird things like painting your toe nails or shaving your legs. News flash…you are so not done with that. Now you get to ask him to help you put your underwear and pants on because thats right you cannot bend over in the slightest. I know from experience that no matter how many different comfortable positions and how valiant of an effort you put into dangling your undies as far down as possible…you are not getting them on on your own. Like I said earlier….dignity…who needs it anyway!
8. Last but not least. You may have been so devastated by the news that you wouldn't be experiencing labour and delivery the way you know your body is meant to. You will probably cry and try all the old wives tales to get the baby to not be breech. You might even get angry about it. That is OKAY. You grieve that loss of the idea and vision you had for welcoming your sweet baby into the world. Then please please remember this…. Nothing can take away from YOUR experience of having that baby, of hearing he or she cry for the first time, of holding their sweet perfect little body in your arms for the first time, and the love you will immediately feel for this life that you have nurtured and created. Vaginal birth or c-section you just welcomed into your arms the sweetest gift you will ever have. Every painful, embarrassing and frustrating moment will be so worth it.