Photography: Lori Romney Photography
I have sat down a number of times to write this blog post and basically just stared at the screen and then at these amazing pictures and then just sat in a mixture of emotions unable to write down any feelings at all. I am usually really good at expressing my feelings and emotions in words. It has always been an outlet for me and something I enjoy. But this topic seems so sacred, almost too sacred to write about.
Knowing your baby's due date is one thing. Knowing your baby is coming on a specific day at a specific time is surprisingly terrifying. Also knowing he is coming not the way you planned for so long is extremely disappointing and confusing.
I've never spent much time in a hospital and I have never had any kind of major surgery and the fact that this involves my little baby makes me all the more nervous and not ready.
In my mind I had this vision of waking up in the middle of the night and waking Kev up to tell him "babe, this is it!" Then heading to the hospital full of excitement and also full of pain but ready to bring this little life into this world and into our arms the way my body was meant to do. Either that or frantically calling Kev while he is at work and figuring out if he should come home first or meet me at the hospital! Either way….I definitely did not picture planning to wake up at such and such time on such and such day and driving over to the hospital where they are expecting us because it has been all mapped out and planned for us.
Then I realize….it has all been mapped out and planned for us. My life has never been my plan. Man do I know it. But apparently sometimes I forget and need to be reminded. I know that this sweet boy of ours is coming into our family just the way he was planned to. The safest way for him and the safest way for me. No it is not how I wish it were happening…things rarely ever go that way. However, in the end I know that this is the way it needs to be and I need to trust that and feel good about that.
I also know that the outcome will be the same. I will have my sweet boy in my arms and he will be mine for all eternity. We will finally be our little family of three and I know that we both cannot wait!
This will be my last post for a while or until I can bring myself to share some hospital pics and write out baby boy's birth story! If you want to meet baby H in the meantime be sure to follow along on instagram (xoloveloxo)