Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Motherhood in the Making





Some days I am completely caught off guard with fact that we will be welcoming our sweet boy in to our arms in just four short months. The time seems to be flying by and I can feel him growing more and more each day. Sometimes I feel like he so much already has a personality all his own and when I meet him face to face for the very first time I will already know him. I would be lying if I wasn't a bit terrified that in just a few short months this pregnancy will be over and I will officially be his mother and his life source but in a different way. It could really sloooooow down because I think I will miss being pregnant with my little guy. And some days I am just not fully prepared for what being a Mom fully entails. I worry I won't be enough and that my patience just won't be where it needs to be.

Other days I cannot wait for these four months to be over. For him to be in my arms and to be able to kiss his sweet soft face. Being pregnant is hard in a lot of ways. Hard on your body and definitely hard on your emotions. Once he is here I won't worry if he is doing okay in there or if these braxton hicks are anything more than that. Or worry if I am gaining enough weight or if I am doing everything just right for him to have a healthy home inside of me. Mostly though I just can't wait to be holding him and  have him be such a huge part of our little family.

I imagine that once he is here life will still be a lot like this.

Some days I will be wishing the days away until he sleeps through the night or will eat on his own. Some days I am positive I will even look around at an unkept house, a crying baby and a wardrobe full of clothes that just don't fit quite right anymore and think…. "What was I thinking?!?" 

But then I will hold that sweet crying boy in my arms and he will smile at me and I will realize that that is what it is all about. That the dishes don't so much matter, that my jiggly tummy is a reminder that once he was right there inside of me and that maybe I will hold that crying baby just a little bit longer because one day he won't want me to.

And this will be the forever roller coaster of Motherhood.

Becoming a mom has always been my most sought after goal in this life. The greatest gift my Heavenly Father has ever given me is our sweet baby H. The greatest of all the gifts my amazing selfless and wonderful husband will ever give me is the gift of becoming a Mother. 

I want to remember on the hard days that I am so blessed. I am the luckiest. I get to be a Mom. There is no greater gift in this life.

Happy Mother's Day this coming weekend to all you women out there. 

4 comments:

  1. You'll be an amazing mother! I can't wait to meet him, soon!

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  2. what a lovely post! you are going to be great!

    xx nikki
    www.dream-in-neon.com

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  3. You're gonna freakin make me cry. It's crazy how all of what you said is so true. Sometimes I feel like I need a break from Cohen so I look forward to nap time and then when he's napping or sleeping for the night I just want him to wake up and snuggle with me because being their mom is truly the best.

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  4. I still can't believe this is for real, I'm SO happy for you, Lauren!! You'll be such a great Mom!! I can't wait to meet baby H!!

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