Photography: Lori Romney
Lace Cardigan c / o: Pink Blush// Grey Cardigan c / o: Pink Blush// Socks c / o: Aeropostale// Tee: Clad and Cloth
I often have people ask me how or why I started this blog and how it became a "fashion blog". I have a lot of different reasons why I started blogging but mainly one reason why it became a blog focused on fashion and beauty.
I usually come up with some sort of quick answer…because…well, the real answers are long and full of potentially awkward moments. And, for those of you that know me real well…my life is basically one big awkward moment anyways so why add on to that! Haha. So, I thought that I would share a little insight on the real reasons for those who have been wondering!
I started this blog four years ago right after my divorce. I had picked up and moved myself all the way out to Hawaii. This was the single greatest decision I ever made for just myself. I started writing this blog to keep my mind on something else and also to keep my loved ones informed on the happenings in my life! It was just for fun and for keeping in touch!
As the years kind of went on and I kept traveling and writing, I wasn't dealing with my divorce and with the things that had happened and were deeply effecting me and soon I would say I became depressed. Things were bottling up and I just didn't know how to handle anything anymore. I kept writing and sometimes I would write things that helped me heal. Yet, for the most part I used my blog to just show that I was doing SO good after the divorce. Lies.
Eventually, things got so out of control that I ended up getting really sick. A result of stress mixed with a fight with my body to have control over the only thing I could…food. I wouldn't say that I had a full blown eating disorder. However, I felt so in control of the amount of food I could eat and what I ate and how much I exercised that that was the only thing that brought me comfort. The only thing that would get me through my days would be focusing on when I would eat, what I would eat, and how many calories I could burn while I was at the gym. I felt completely in control. Until that very control sent me to the hospital with a SEVERE iron deficiency that was making my body shut itself down.
So where am I going with this? What does this have to do with fashion blogging??….Well, that moment was rock bottom. It was also a huge eye opener. What the heck was I doing to myself? I was trying so hard to gain some sort of control that I was actually spiralling so far out of control that I could hardly function properly. I didn't have control over my emotions or my body anymore. Fail.
I finally started to really come out of this four year funk. I had been fighting hard for four years but not dealing with anything that really needed to be faced head on. I was stuck in the same place I had been three years previous. Not doing anything for myself and not fighting to live my own life.
Then came trying to figure out what exactly it was that would make me happy. What could I change in my life and what could I control. I could control where I lived. So I moved. Fashion and nature and traveling and beauty. All those things make me SO happy. I can control all of them. Mostly I can control what I wear, how I look, and most importantly how I feel about myself.
So I set out on a journey to really find myself. Finding yourself also means finding your very own style. Finding out what makes you tick!
What makes me tick? I LOVE grey clothes! I ADORE feeling comfortable and good in what I'm wearing! I BELIEVE that everyone has their own style, their own voice through what they wear and I LOVE it! I love finding things that represent me! I love having a voice to maybe help others out there…even if my helping is to just find them a shirt that they feel comfortable and beautiful in all at the same time!
So, thats the long story of how I became a blogger. How I became a fashion blogger. It's about me healing and taking back control over my life.
My ex said that I would never be someone. He said that I would never follow my dreams. I listened for far too long and it nearly ruined me! (He always said I would never have the guts to go sky diving and I totally did that too!) haha.
BUT here I am! I have control. I write a fashion blog! I love clothes! And when I feel like I have no control over life I find comfort in writing for this little blog and watching my hard work all come together in the form of an outfit. I fight the pull to fall back in to my old habits… because let's just face the facts here. We just cannot control everything that gets thrown at us in life.
I'm so incredibly happy to be a blogger. And so dang happy to have you along for the ride!
What makes you tick? Why are you where you are today? How do you follow your own dreams and take control of your own life?