I've been sitting here trying to figure out how exactly to start this post. Seems there is no good way. So here it is.
I always want to come on here and write about something funny, something uplifting, something to leave you just a little bit happier than when you started your day.
Yet, as you know, this blog is more of a take me as I am. And more often than not these days I'm confused, lonely, frustrated and mostly feeling stuck.
I'm not really one for being stuck. If something isn't working out or doesn't feel right I am the first one to bail. I have a free spirit and a serious gypsy soul to thank for that. Maybe that's why it's been so hard for me lately...being stuck is the worst. Trust me I am yelling it at myself just as much as you are all yelling at your computer screen to just stop complaining and get a move on. But stuck is hard to get out of sometimes.
There are somethings that I can change and I will...like my body being stuck in a place I don't want to live, working a job I don't want to work. That will come with time...sooner the better.
...My mind is stuck, stuck trying to figure out what I really want in this messy life of mine. Where exactly do I want to be. What exactly do I want to be doing...
...My heart is stuck, stuck wanting the same thing I've wanted for the last four years. Four years is a long time to want..want is the wrong word maybe...ache..Four years is a long time to ache for something. Ache for the impossible.
Maybe one day it will all be possible.
But for now...my lovely lovely readers whom I just adore... stick it out with me ok?
I won't be here as often as I would like to be. Mostly because I'm going to be focusing on figuring all of this stuff out. I will however keep you updated when things take a turn for the more adventurous side...and I will as always include you on this journey. So I'll be around.
Love you all THIS much. & You know it!